In her reflective new essay, Dr. Kela Henry offers a candid and deeply personal meditation on the lessons many women spend decades learning the hard way. Drawing from her lived experiences and the themes explored throughout her work, “What I Wish I Knew as a Young Woman” examines the quiet but powerful forces that shape confidence, identity, and self-worth.
From learning to trust intuition and challenge inherited beliefs to confronting fear and embracing financial literacy, Dr. Kela Henry explores the ways women are often conditioned to doubt themselves before they even begin. With honesty, compassion, and hard-earned clarity, she reflects on the misinformation, disinformation, and cultural programming that can limit personal growth, while encouraging younger generations to move through the world with greater courage, discernment, and agency.
We’ve all heard the phrase “Hindsight is 20/20.” This expression captures how clearly we can understand past decisions and events once time and experience sharpen our perspective. As I reflect on my own life, there are four lessons I wish I had known — and fully trusted — much earlier.
Dr. Kela Henry is a family practice physician, speaker, and award-winning author. With a passion for upliftment, she dedicates herself to motivating teenage girls to control their educational journey and access the means needed for creating a fulfilling life, irrespective of their circumstances.
First, trust your gut.
I believe intuition is a gift: an internal compass meant to guide us when we lack concrete data. Looking back, I can trace many regrets not to poor judgment, but to moments when I second-guessed myself. Whether it was changing a correct test answer or giving someone another chance they didn’t deserve, ignoring my instincts rarely served me well. Intuition can show up differently for each person. For me, it’s a physical sensation; an immediate, unmistakable tension that I feel in the center of my chest. As a child, I didn’t have language for it, but I recognized its accuracy when I listened. Unfortunately, girls and women are often taught to dismiss intuition as irrational or paranoia. It isn’t. I wish trusting my instincts had been reinforced as early and consistently as manners or parental obedience, so honoring that inner voice felt natural instead of rebellious.
Second, take action in spite of fear.
Not all fear is created equal. Legitimate fear protects us whereas irrational fear exists to limit us. Learning to tell the difference is important. Irrational fear kept me from opportunities, not because I wasn’t capable, but because I was afraid of failure. As a child, I heard “be careful” more often than “go ahead and try.” Over time, that messaging leads to self-doubt and gives fear authority in decision-making. Left unchecked, fear can become a default setting that takes years to undo. Courage isn’t the absence of fear — it’s choosing action despite it.
Third, question your programming.
Culture shapes us through family, religion, education, traditions, and social norms. While culture provides structure and belonging, not everything handed down deserves unquestioned loyalty. History makes this painfully clear. Harmful systems have persisted simply because they were considered “normal” at the time. Girls must be taught early that asking thought provoking questions is not disrespect — it’s essential. Creating environments where young women can challenge ideas without shame helps them develop critical thinking and moral clarity. When girls learn to examine what they’ve been taught, they grow into women who improve culture rather than passively inherit it.
Finally, learn financial literacy early.
I learned basic money management like saving, paying bills, contributing to retirement, but more advanced concepts came much later. Earlier exposure to investing, passive income, and financial strategy would have accelerated both my confidence and outcomes. Financial literacy is especially critical for women. Statistically, women are more likely to be the primary manager of household finances, serve as caregivers, experience financial disruption through divorce or illness, and outlive their spouses. Age-appropriate financial education, beginning in elementary school and continuing through adulthood, isn’t optional—it’s protective. Knowledge is power and creates agency.
Trust your gut. Act even when you’re afraid. Question what you’ve been taught. Become financially literate. These are the four things I wish I had known as a young woman. I extend grace to myself, and to my parents, for what they couldn’t teach me. Now, I can pass this wisdom forward to the generations coming behind me.
Find more on Dr. Kela Henry here: https://drkela.com/